


He was allowed to

by what_in_the



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: First Kisses, Getting Together, I Wanted Something Fluffy, Just A Whole Bunch Of Gay, M/M, Pining Michael, Post-Squip, Self-Indulgent, i wrote this to cheer myself up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 13:46:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17060912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_in_the/pseuds/what_in_the
Summary: Michael just heard the news that Jeremy had broken up with Christine. He invites Jeremy over to help comfort him, but things take an unexpected turn.





	He was allowed to

Michael had been expecting the call ever since the news dropped. Christine and Jeremy had broken up, and Jeremy hadn't turned up for school that day. In all honesty, if he hadn't called, Michael was all set to go break down Jeremy’s door and comfort his best friend in any way he could. Possibly by getting him stoned in his basement. That usually seemed to work.

The call was brief, happening just as Michael was climbing into his beloved PT Cruiser. Jeremy’s voice was soft and nervous, something Michael hadn’t heard since pre-SQUIP.

“Can I come over?” He murmured. Michael sighed, partly in relief, partly in exasperation. Didn't Jeremy realise he didn't need to ask that question anymore?

“Sure thing dude. Need me to pick you up? I can be there in 2 minutes, I'll even break 5 driving laws, if you like.” The small giggle that sounded through the phone made the stupid joke worth it.

“No that's okay. I’ll meet you at your place in about 10 minutes?”

“Cool! See you then buddy. I'm pretty sure Mama will be home today so just knock. She can let you in.” After a beat, Michael heard the line go dead.

Starting up the engine on his car, Michael tried to decide how best to help his friend. Christine had been Jeremy’s dream girl since 7th grade when they first met. He had been dreaming about her for years, even the mushy stuff like starting a family and getting a dog and stuff. Admittedly, Michael had always held on to his on version of those fantasies, where it was him instead of Christine… but now wasn't the time to think about that. Jeremy might be single but he was straight, and had shown no inclination towards guys. Michael was just happy to keep Jeremy in his life. And that's what he had to keep reminding himself. Maybe one day he’d actually believe it.

He was getting distracted. Michael was supposed to be thinking of how to help Jeremy, not thinking about what he himself wanted. Pulling into his driveway, he came to a conclusion. It would all depend on how Jeremy was behaving. He may need to have his false bravado broken down or he may just need a shoulder to cry on. Either way, Michael would do it. Whatever Jeremy might need, Michael would always be there for him.

Jeremy was sitting at the breakfast bar holding a steaming cup of hot cocoa. His Mama was certainly be home. Her solution to everything was a cup of hot cocoa. Mom’s was tea.

“Hola Mama, I’m going to be taking Jeremy downstairs, alright?” He called out, slightly startling his friend. From somewhere else in the house, probably from upstairs his Mama agreed, telling him that she would make Jeremy more cocoa if he needed.

Chuckling, he turned back to Jeremy and opened his arms. Jeremy launched himself into a crushing hug and relaxed instantly. Despite being over half a foot taller than him, Jeremy still felt small in Michael’s arms. Feeling exceedingly protective, Michael held on until Jeremy finally released him. Offering a nervous smile, Jeremy started shuffling his feet awkwardly as he waited for Michael to say something. Instead, Michael just grabbed his friend’s hand and dragged him down towards the basement.

After getting them both settled on the sofa, Michael turned to Jeremy and waited expectantly. They’d go at Jeremy’s pace. Whatever he needed.

Jeremy cringed back slightly and started picking at the threadbare sofa.

“So I guess you know about me and Christine. We’re now officially broken up.” Jeremy let out a burst of self deprecating laughter before taking a small breath to calm himself.

Michael waited, slightly surprised. Jeremy sounded nervous but not upset.

“Truth is? We actually broke up a few weeks ago. We both agreed it wasn't working out for various reasons. But I wasn't ready to tell everyone after all the fuss I made trying to get her. So we’re telling everyone that she broke up with me because of, well… reasons…”

Jeremy was stuttering again, rubbing at his wrists and the back of his neck. Michael knew that those areas were covered in light scars from that damned wintergreen tictac.Constant electrical shocks whenever Jeremy stuttered or did something ‘wrong’ left burns snaking along his skin in sensitive areas. Jeremy would rub at them whenever he started behaving differently to how he was trained. Even over a year later. Damn SQUIP.

“So you guys haven't been together for a while?But you've still been spending loads of time together! Like at the library and stuff, not just in school.”

Jeremy nodded, looking more and more nervous with every second.

“Yeah, we’ve been researching some stuff, helping each other out, you know? We’re still friends, just not dating anymore.”

Michael was stumped. He was expecting a distraught best friend who needed distracting or cheering up. What he was seeing was someone who not only was okay with the break up but seemingly with other things on his mind. He didn't really know what to do.

“Would it be really rude for me to ask what you guys were researching?”

Jeremy shook his head, a blush creeping up his neck and quickly spreading over his cheeks. He mumbled something that Michael couldn't hear.

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, dude.”

Jeremy took a deep breath and looked straight at Michael for the first time since getting there.

“We were looking up LGBT terms. I know we could have asked you, but I needed to see for myself.”

Michael suddenly felt as though all the air had been knocked out of him and he felt his stomach twist traitorously with hope. Jeremy and Christine were both looking up LGBT terms. That meant at least one of them were questioning, and Michael couldn't help the fact that he was hoping it was Jeremy.

Realising he had been sitting there for too long (aka more that a second), Michael tried to respond casually, though he could feel the beginnings of a blush on his own cheeks. Thank god for his darker skin.

“Oh, so which of you wanted to check it out? If either of you need some advice I still have a few books that mom got me when I was figuring myself out.”

Jeremy hunched over slightly, almost trying to hide.

“Both of us,” he whispered, before trying again at a more reasonable volume, “We both had things to look up. “

Michael scooted closer to Jeremy and gently put a hand on his shoulder. Jeremy flinched but then leant into the touch slightly, his face going even redder.

“Look, you don't have to tell me. But if you want to I’m here to listen. If you like we can boot up Apocalypse of the Damned and just forget this for a while, or I can dig out my stash and we can totally get stoned. Whatever you need right now. Just like you did for me when I was dealing with this stuff.”

Jeremy shot Michael a grateful if somewhat wobbly smile before taking a deep breath.

“Christine is pretty sure she is Aro Ace. She likes spending time with me, but she hasn't ever experienced any sort of non platonic attraction to me or to Jake or anyone. Not at all in the entire year we’ve been dating, which I'm actually okay. She wanted to try dating because she wanted to feel like one part of her was ‘normal’. Turns out that it is pretty normal anyway.”

Jeremy said it all so fast that Michael had to stop for a few seconds to process. After that, he offered a small smile to Jeremy and gave his shoulder a squeeze. Progress.

“Well I'm proud of her for figuring it out. Being on the ace spectrum isn't always easy to accept, even if it is good to know there are other like you out there.”

Jeremy relaxed considerably after hearing those words, but tensed up again almost straight away. He sat up straight and looked Michael right in the eye, his face burning.

“And I realised I am… I… I am… god damn it, why is this so hard? I am-”

Michael couldn't help but lean a little closer as Jeremy tried and failed to get the words out. Eventually Jeremy huffed out a quiet curse and looked away, apparently giving up. Michael watched him with understanding eyes, knowing how hard it can be to come out, even to the most accepting person.

Michael’s gaze went from soft to surprised when he left Jeremy grab the front of his hoodie. He barely had the chance to realise this before he was yanked forwards with a rather undignified yelp.

The next thing he knew, there was a pair of soft lips against his own.

They were gentle as they quickly pressed against his own. Michael couldn't process what was going on. His best friend was kissing him. And holding him close by his hoodie so he couldn't even stop to ask what was going on. He sat there for what seemed for hours but was probably not even a second. Deciding he must be dreaming, he tentatively kissed back, his eyes falling shut.

Jeremy made a small surprised sound and quickly moved away, breaking the kiss. Michael chased the feeling of those lips to start with before realising what he was doing. A very prominent blush on his cheeks, Michael slowly opened his eyes to find Jeremy leaning against the arm of the couch, panting lightly.

“I… I’m bi. And- and I like you.” Jeremy sighed before attempting to take in Michael’s response.

Michael was sure he was bright red; his eyes were only half open and his expression was dazed. He was quite the sight really, still caught up in such a simple kiss. Jeremy only noticed his silence though, his anxiety already bubbling beneath the surface and clouding his vision.

“Michael, I-” Jeremy began, ready to spout his practiced apology when Michael lunged forwards, sealing their lips together once more. It was Jeremy’s turn to freeze, not expecting Michael’s response in the slightest. Michael could feel Jeremy tense up from shock before he relaxed and actually started to enjoy the kiss. Their lips moved in tandem, somehow fitting together perfectly.

Michael was lost in the sensation, unconsciously bring one of his hands up to cup Jeremy’s face while the other pressed against the arm of the couch, effectively boxing Jeremy in. It felt like there were fireworks going off in his head, nothing was being processed besides the fact the Jeremy was kissing him back and it felt so good.

Eventually they had to separate, but as Michael pulled back, he didn't move far. Resting his forehead against Jeremy’s he laughed softly.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?”

Jeremy couldn't seem to form a coherent response, spluttering and stuttering as his blush hit an all time max. Michael was pretty impressed with himself really, his best friend and crush was speechless after kissing him. Then he realised that he was half on top of Jeremy, boxing him in like he was in some sort of bad anime. Michael launched himself backwards, all the way to the other side of the couch, stuttering out an apology of his own.

Jeremy was still somewhat dazed but he giggled at Michael's behaviour.

“I thought I was supposed to be the one who stuttered?” He chuckled, sitting up and offering Michael a hand, an almost dizzy look in his eyes.

After they were both sitting up properly again, Jeremy scooted closer to Michael and curled up next to him, gingerly resting his head against Michael’s chest. Michael was very happy with this position, though he was fighting off nigh on hysteric giggles at both this new development as well as the fact the Jeremy looked really funny with his long limbs folded up like that. Also he somehow looked really cute.

For a moment, Michael tried to fight off the thought as he usually would before he paused. Jeremy liked Michael. Which meant Michael was allowed to like Jeremy and have those disgustingly sweet thoughts about him, right?

“So what does this mean for us? What are we?” Michael decided he should ask before making any decisions.

Jeremy thought for a second before jumping up and running upstairs with a small shout of “wait there!”

Normally Michael would have worried or began panicking and need a hit to calm down after such a sudden change of mood, especially after the events of last year, but he was still way too blissed out from the fact that JEREMY HAD KISSED HIM! AND HE KISSED JEREMY!

In the few minutes that Jeremy had gone, Michael had managed to get his head back in some sort of order. He couldn't fight off the soft smile that appeared at Jeremy bounded back into the room. Focusing on his gangly friend, he noticed two familiar backpacks dangling from his long arms, except they were covered in sticky notes.

Jeremy’s red backpack had ‘BOYF’ written on, it while Michael’s had ‘RIENDS’ split between the various panels. The memory from an older time echoed forwards, from before the SQUIP incident, back when Rich was their bully instead of their friend. He had written the same thing on their bags, causing Jeremy to sulk for days. That was the day Jeremy signed up for the school play too, the day things started going wrong…

“Well? Can I be the ’Boyf’ to your ‘Riends’?” Jeremy giggled shyly, snapping Michael from his spiral. The question registered. Michael blushed. Then he grinned and jumped up, dragging his boyfriend into his arms and spinning him around.

“Dude that was so awesomely gay! I love it!”Michael was giddy with joy. Jeremy was being cheesy and asked him out in literally the cutest way and now he was giggling in that adorable way where his eyes scrunch up at the corners. Michael was allowed to notice that now. He was allowed to noticed the fact that Jeremy would stick out his tongue when he was focusing on a level of Apocalypse of the Damned and the fact that he would always mess with his hair when he was thinking and the fact that twitch his nose for about a minute before he sneezed. Michael was allowed to actually love every part of Jeremy.

They stopped spinning and Michael just relished holding Jeremy close. Because he was allowed to.

“Yes, I will be your boyfriend.”


End file.
